Guide to Otakon 2003
These are in no particular order.
I suppose I have to make up for not writing a 2002 version but here goes. Otakon, the largest anime convention on the east coast, is basically what gets us through the year. Hoping, waiting and wishing for the day to arrive. "Oh man all the awesome AMVS!" "Oh man the dealers room!" "YO THE DEALERS ROOM!?" "Cho better get some." These are among some of the more popular phrases leading up to Otakon. Our standard group, minus former staff member Aoknight and plus Matt's roomate Winston, traveled again to the holy land for another weekend of bliss. Read on to find to find out about how many chicks Cho actually got...
At the conclusion of last years Otakon, we sat around a table in a fast food joint, discussing the possibilites of raping every catagory of AMV. "Yo what about a funny one?" "That song!" "OH MAN THAT SONG" Needless to say, we created a video and got raped ourselves. Along with this discovery of our suckiness, we also found out that a video isn't complete without Vash dancing around drunk with a tie around his head. That seems to be the clincher in every stupid video... even action and romance videos. Like out of no where, in the middle of say... a Utena video... Vash just starts dancing and stuff and the entire crowd goes crazy. I can't be sure whether it's because they're all fucking retarted or because Vash has some sort of constant appeal I'm missing.
At some point during the weekend, I could watch no more. If I watched another god damn music video, I would have snapped and killed some poor Otaku cosplaying someone they don't look one bit like. No offense to AMVs, but I can only stand so many cheap dumb videos that make no sense and win with even less sense. I mean the winning comedy video (which I didn't see anyway) I hear wasn't even a music video. It was just funny cause of the subtitles. What the fuck?
I love singing. I don't, however, love singing at Otakon. I thought I'd be all cool and chill but sadly the fag Otakus take over everything there. First off, some of the gayest people there showed up to karaoke songs they couldn't even get close to singing. This one person stands out in particular... he thought he was all funny and stuff, making all these dumb jokes while the staff set up his song. He proceeded to sing Ai Sincere Heart from Excel Saga (NOTE: It's a dual female part, and he's a fat male.) It was horrible. I wanted to strangle myself. Along with gay kids was the line. You sign up for a song that you'll probobly end up singing 10 hours later. And I didn't get picked for Otaku Idol while a bunch of random fags did. I was so fucking pissed. I'm clearly superior to all these fags. As a final kicker, there were two ugly girls dancing to all the karaoke songs, like they were retarted in the head or something. Moshing, head banging, uh... fucking all sorts of gay shit. That was possibly the worst scene I'd ever witnessed.
There is heaven on Earth. It's the dealers room at Otakon. Every anime thing you could imagine or look up on Ebay is there and then some. "I don't think I'll spend that much this year, I mean I can just get it cheaper on Ebay." I spent close to 3 times the amount I spent last year. It's like a fucking drug I tell ya. I killed my entire summer earnings in that blessed room. We got loads of free shit too. If there's one thing I have to say about the dealer's room, its that Bandai is the shit.
Kristna Sa and TMR Concert
Oh man was it awesome. It was definatly one of the best Otakon experiences yet. First off, Kristina Sa is mad hot, and she changed her clothes mid routine into this hot thing with these things on... wow. Anyway, she kinda sucked but when TMR came on the entire place went crazy. First off, it's his first concert in the USA so its awesome already. Second, he did Heart of the Sword and two Gundam Seed songs.. all heavy metal style and FUCKIGN AWESOME! OH MY FUCKING GOD HEART OF THE SWORD ENCORE?! IT WAS SO FUCKIGN AEWOSME I ALMOST CUMMED. Ok well not really but it was that awesome. Incidentally, the autograph line for TMR started before the concert even began... as much sense as that makes...
This year we endulged much more. In fact, I didn't eat at Burger King once. While I normally ate one meal a day, one night we went to this awesome pizzaria and me and Tempest got these AWESOME tandoori chicken pizzas. It was great. Best pizza I've ever had. We did, however, have those classic arguements about where to eat. One night, everyone just ended up doing their own thing. Well that solved that...
The hotel was mad chill. I ended up getting a bed all three nights again, but at least it was fair to everyone. We'd just chill back, make fun of bad horror movies and play Magic and Guilty Gear and shit. It's the kind of thing that's awesome in a different way than fucking a girl. It's just... being an Otaku.
Platy already went over the signs but I have to point out the "Smack my ass" sign. It's so godly... me and Mog had this awesome idea of a picture where I'm slapping her ass and he's like pointing with this stupid face and she's like turned around with this ultra exaggerated fake surprised face. We probobly laughed about it for a few hours, then kept bringing it up for the rest of the convention. We sadly never found the original smack my ass girl, but a second appeared but very briefly before a kid with a "free ass kickings" sign took her place. What a shame.
Platy Getting some
A dream of Mog and mine has always been that Platy would finally get "some" at Otakon. Surely at a convention with people with similar interests, Platy could "get" some of "it". This sadly did not occur and instead we think he may of gotten gayer. It's hard to tell. If any avid female Otakon goers are reading this, Platy needs "some". If you're hot, however, me and Mog need it more.
What else is there to say about Otakon? Well, in the end I brought home tons of free shit, tons of purchased shit, and a bunch of jacked stuff. I may have stolen the map of the convention center sign, but I wasn't quick enough. Ah well. Life is in slow motion till next Otakon sadly. Maybe we'll be insipired to write more Evasource, but at the same time alcohol, girls, and sitting my ass at home doing nothing seem to be my priorities.