Star Wars

3:40: Pavit and I arrive at the Regal Cinemas theater. Our supplies include a spindle of compact discs laden with Seinfeld and anime, a laptop to play said compact discs, two Gameboy Colors, and a digital camera. We feel ready; asking the bearded guy at the counter "where the line for Star Wars begins," I receive an incredulous stare. He tells us to just sit next to the entrance. When asked "is that all right," he tells us it isn't his problem. We buy a ticket for Samir, assuming he will help us kill time until Rao arrives.

4:00: We sit at the table; Pavit convinces me that, given the clearly long nature of our stay at Regal, we should go sneak into a movie. After some argument, I concede. We enter Spiderman, deciding to leave at five.

4:57: We leave Spiderman right after Peter Parker receives his powers.

5:16: After realizing no people had arrived to challenge our dominance of the line, we enter Spiderman again.

5:35: Receive call from Samir; he's outside and waiting. Unfortunately, he's also bought a ticket; we tell him to return it and hang up. Spiderman is on a rooftop with the Green Goblin.

5:40: Receive another call from Samir; "three Regal guys are outside" of Spiderman. We loop out the back, walking around the entire theater to enter through the front. The bearded guy doesn't recognize us.

5:41: Realizing that the ticket we had bought for Samir was in a completely different theater, we exchange Samir's auditorium 10 ticket for the same auditorium 9 ticket he JUST RETURNED.

5:45: Regal people set up queue things on both sides of the lobby. We enter proudly; we're first. A man in a black shirt shakes Pavit's hand, saying "I respect you guys." Pavit grins broadly; "we're the shit," he informs us.

5:46: Samir opens his book about "business." Pavit calls it a "Dougherty book," referring to a business teacher we know; strangely assuming he can defend himself, Samir informs us that "it has cursing." "Oh, shit, Cho, it has cursing!" Pavit says. "Pavit, DEAR GOD, it has cursing!" I say. Samir continues to read.

5:50: Pavit begins to play Tetris on my Gameboy Color. I explain the end of the Spiderman movie to him.

5:55: "You know what? I was first in line, bitch!" Pavit says to literally no one, fantasizing about the various mockeries we'll heap on those that come later. We call Rao twice; apparently he hasn't picked up his tuxedo, and is simultaneously "stuck in traffic." Clearly lying. We take pictures… and more pictures. Samir continues reading his damn book.

5:57: Pavit stops playing Tetris to begin playing Pokemon Red. "Cho, where can I level," he asks. I tell him to find a cave, not really giving a damn. We discover the laptop is out of batteries.

5:58: Pavit stops playing Pokemon Red as we search for an extension cord. None. Damn laptop.

6:00: We attempt to conserve cell phone batteries; Snake may ultimately be our only option. Samir calls his mom as we debate calling Rao once more just for the hell of it. We realize, with utter certainty, that we are the shit.

6:01: We begin to get bored. Pavit refuses to look at his watch, fearing what he might discover; instead, he begins to play Gameboy Color again. He soon gets "the sword" in Zelda.

6:02: After a conversation with the manager, a mousy man with a mustache, we realize Rao may not be able to sit with us if he arrives too late. Idiot. We ask the manager for an extension cord, and he informs us that they're fire hazards; The phone keeps breaking up as well.

6:05: The next guy in line arrives, wearing a Villanova shirt and supplied with a blue chair, a cd player, and a copy of Akira. We take his picture.

6:05: "Stella!" we shout repeatedly; the insanity begins to set in. "Rao! RAO!"

6:06: Pavit gets lost in Zelda; finding it too frustrating, he shuts the Gameboy Color off again. "I don't know what to do, they keep talking to me," he explains.

6:07: Pavit and Samir discuss the possibility of having multiple hot chicks standing next to us for the next 6 hours. Hope springs eternal.

6:09: We have a conversation with the Villanova guy, a graduate; he substitute teaches at North Brunswick and goes to DeVry.

6:13: We begin playing the card game Bullshit with Villanova guy with my X-Men playing cards. His name is Pete.

6:21: A couple comes, a skinny man with glasses and a short woman with a Samurai X t-shirt. They're carrying multiple books each. We take a picture; across the theater some Regal guy yells at us to stop taking pictures. I move across the carpeted floor of the hall to plug in my laptop, allowing it to charge.

6:40: The first game of Bullshit ends; Samir and Pete, in that order, emerge victorious. We begin the second game immediately.

6:43: Pavit suggests we go for "line" food. Samir and I hear it as "lime" food and mock him until he explains, in detail, whatever the hell he meant.

6:55: Pavit wants more food; he buys a hot dog for three dollars and a large drink for God knows how much. We split it evenly amongst ourselves, getting a small bit each.

7:20: Rao finally arrives, bringing Monopoly and Burger King food in a sack. We eat his fries as we set up the game.

7:30: Realizing that Monopoly is boring as fuck, we begin to watch Seinfeld, the "Barber" episode, on the laptop.

7:35: The laptop dies; as a result, Seinfeld ends. I reluctantly pack the Monopoly; little did I know, this action would result in a new name for the duration of our time here. We begin to play Bullshit again.

8:01: We stop playing Bullshit… I sneeze violently. All of us play War until only Rao and I remain; once Rao begins to play Connect 4, I put the damn cards away.

8:30: Connect 4 tournament begins. Pavit, Rao, and I lose. Losers are theoretically punished by being forced to play War, but this is not evident.

8:45: Giving a Gameboy Color to a Regal attendant, Pavit is accused of "stealing Cho's chick" for no outwardly apparent (to me) reason. This initiates a joke that doesn't end for quite a while; I sit against my pillar and steadily grow more irritated.

9:45: Guy in Chewbacca suit arrives with minimal fanfare. I take his picture with Rao and Pavit.

9:50: We get Scattergories from Rao's car and proceed to play. After several rounds the game degenerates into mindless chaos, everyone attempting to make up answers and cheating as much as humanly possible. Pavit, attempting to be slick, writes "Neil Smith" and gives himself a point several minutes after the timer has clearly gone off; Samir catches him in the act and begins to crack up.

10:12: We borrow the game Sorry from Pete and his friends, only to discover that we do not in fact understand how to play… at all. We all take turns reading the instructions before putting the game back into the box.

10:27: Rao and Samir go to purchase more Burger King food.

10:45: The line now extends out of the theater into the night. We are Gods. We have actual documentation to prove it… WE ARE THE SHIT. Some odd-looking kid asks us some random questions about our place in line, then disappears forever.

10:50: The line now extends around the corner of the theater building. First Rao and Pavit, then Samir and I, go back there to see what it feels like to be utter scum. Instead, we feel terribly glorious. We walk back to our place at the head of the line slowly, staring at each face as we pass. Bitches.

10:51: People take pictures of us. WE ARE THE SHIT. LITERALLY.

11:00: Beginning of home stretch. As I sit against a pillar silently, Samir, Pavit, and Rao begin dancing about giddily. The excitement may prove to be too much. We take turns walking across the lobby to shake hands with the people that are first in line on the other side; Pavit refers to them as our "brothers and sisters." They too are conceivably the shit.

11:20: Checking the line again, it extends around the building even farther. Again, I feel it necessary to point out that we are the shit.

11:47: It's go time. We enter the theater in a mad rush; Rao drops his Scattergories box by accident. I rush past him as he struggles to collect the various bits and pieces, only stopping to hand him a die he missed.

11:49: We sit at the top of the theater, staring downward at the empty vastness. We feel, more than ever, that we are the shit. Hell, we KNOW we are. I take a picture. We continually babble to ourselves the words "first," "evasource," and, for some reason I won't go into now, "serious."

12:05: Previews begin after a hellishly long wait. We continue to scream, as do the people around us; we also make it a point to inform those that sit next to us that "we were the first in line." We are the shit.

12:09: Movie begins; sadly, it kind of sucks. But it has Yoda kicking ass… and we remain the shit.