Hellsing Review

I had first heard of Hellsing from Liquid, who had in turn found it in the random profile of some reviewer online; "It may be good," he said. "The guy says it's his favorite after D." So I downloaded it. And discovered a vampire named Alucard.

Alucard is a badass. A really awesome, alarmingly cool and violent badass. He fights a similarly really awesome, alarmingly cool and violent badass called Alexander Anderson. The two of them are in a really awesome, alarmingly cool and violent anime called Hellsing. Hellsing is holy anime… even after watching the series several times, I cannot quite comprehend the scope and magnitude of its sheer godliness. Never once is it boring, corny, or otherwise flawed; from the beginning of the first episode to the conclusion of the INCONCEIVABLY GREAT thirteenth, Hellsing is a sick, sick trip that literally left me an awed, giggling mass of quivering flesh afterwards. The English language is in fact ill equipped to deal with describing pure badassedness on such an alarming scale; just watch the fucking series.


What the fuck... All my life I've been watching anime like some sick fanatic, hoping to somehow escape to a world of unimaginable fantasy and forget that I have a real life to lead. What the fuck... HELLSING IS SO COOL. Getting immersed in this world will completely change your life... no other anime will ever entertain you like this will. Alucard is literally a god you can worship unlike those stupid bastards like Jesus. Did Jesus ever use guns made out of silver crosses?! DID JESUS USE A GUN?! DID JESUS SUMMON DOG BEASTS AND DRINK BLOOD AND LOOK UTTERLY COOL?! NO, NO HE CLEARLY DID NOT. Anderson is like what Moses should have been, a blood thirsty psychotic holy warrior with cool ass blades. Sure, Moses parted water but Anderson chucks knives. Now who would you want protecting you? All in all, Hellsing is what religion was suppose to be like.


yo, "WHAT THE FUCK" was the first thing that came to mind as soon as I saw the episode 13 end credits. "WHAT THE FUCK," I think to myself whenever Hellsing comes to mind. But really, in all seriousness... Hellsing's awesomeness doesn't make ANY SENSE. Like I don't want to give anything away or whatever but like when Incognito creams Alucard he's literally a pool of blood with a head just lying there and he COMES BACK. And Anderson can somehow regenerate himself due to divine powers of something. You gotta appreciate the utter uselessness of Victoria and pretty much the entire Hellsing army the creators must have put a lot of thought into that. I mean something THAT useless.. you'd think there's some deep purpose or subtle metaphor behind it but when you get down to it all you really need to see is Alucard killing guys and vampires fucking. They should have literally called it "Alucard killing guys and vampires fucking while killing guys" since it basically covers the most important parts of the anime. Well whatever, Hellsing kicks your ass.