evasource

Just in case you don't under stand Rurouni Kenshin (the series, 1st and 2nd OVA, or movie) we have an FAQ that will try to answer any of your questions. Based on past experiences, and unhappy visitors I can't guarentee you'll retain any of this though.

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Who is Kenshin?

He's that funny looking red haired hobo with the cross scar.

What? They call that guy Battousai or something though!

That's just his nickname. He's called the Hitokiri Battousai because he was this horrendously badass assassin before and became famous. Now he just wanders around with a weapon that can't kill anything.

Yea, what's the deal with that Sakaba sword? Why doesn't he utterly kill people?

After his first love died, he swore never to kill again. Although he clearly killed alot after the vow, he began to wander around Japan for no apparent reason. The Sakaba sword allows him to beat the shit out of people without cutting them. It's basically like a sword with no sharp edge.

That's retarted... I'd just kill people.

Yea well you're not Kenshin and you're clearly not in the anime so shut the fuck up.

I don't get it. Why did Sanosuke ditch his sword and start punching and stuff? That sword was awesome!

After Sano got his ass kicked by Kenshin, he realized his sword was useless. Sano's badass character literally dies after episode 4 or 5 when his sword is cut in half. He gets a little cooler when he learns the Futai No Kiwami (rock breaking) but remains retarted.

Kaoru's so hot! I want to have sexual intercourse with her!

Uh I'm going to assume you're asking about dating tips and continue. Kaoru's a simple girl with simple needs. Give her a stick and some room to swing and she's a happy camper. If you want to get with her, alcohol will NOT work. She'll end up accidentally beating you to death. Sweet things, flowers, and jewelry are good starters. When she's all wooed and blushy, make with the sweet talk and things will happen. I wouldn't forcefully try to get in her kimono unless you're Kenshin or some horribly powerful badass, which you're clearly not because you're asking me to help you get anime characters.

Yahiko is useless, annoying, and weak. Why is he even in the anime?

Besides the fact that he grows up to be like one of the most powerful swordsmen in the country, he is in fact useless.

Hey I think he gets Tsubame!

Yea he does. Lucky kid.

Yea she was mad sexy!

Cute, but I appreciate your enthusiasm towards fictional characters.

Yo what does Misao see in Aoshi? He just broods and meditates and stuff.

Early on in her life, Aoshi was like a role model to her. When she grows up, that feeling turns into a love for him. She doesn't see him as an utterly cool violent badass, but as a quiet and handsome guy.

How did Saitoh survive that explosion? I would have died.

Saitoh is an alarmingly cool violent swordsman. You are a sex deprived deviant of society.

Wait that's not an answer! How the hell did he survive?!

Maybe he flies. How the utter fuck should I know.

Hey I think there's something going on between Kenshin and Kaoru... Eh? Eh?

Wait are you the same guy from the Eva FAQ that stated a similarly stupid ass observation?

Uh...

Uh huh...right.

Wait, so Tomoe was actually a bad guy?

Uh...no...

But she had that knife and shit!

Kenshin killed her fiance in the first episode of the Bakumatsu OVA, so she went to Kyoto to try to kill him. Instead she ends up falling in love and sleeping with him. Go figure.

Yea but Kenshin kills her! That means she's a bad guy right?

You clearly didn't watch the OVA because she jumps in the way to save Kenshin from dying and accidentally gets hit by his blade.

Kenshin looks tasty!

Huh?

Who is that mummy guy?

That's Shishio Makoto. He's this horrendously powerful badass that's trying to take over Japan.

How does he make all that fire?

He doesn't make it. When his sword strikes the ground, it sparks and creates the fire.

Whoa! He has bombs in his gloves!

Uh not quite. His gloves are soaked in gun-powder so when he sparks his glove with his sword, it explodes.

Why doesn't it blow up his hand?

I actually don't know, shut up.

Kamatari is hot!

She's a guy.

Uh, no duh...

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What happens to that fat guy? You know, the dumb looking one that didn't speak?

Iwambo just dissapears in the anime. In the manga he's like a robot shell or something.

Why is Yumi smiling when she dies? I would be crying or something.

You would actually be dead and not doing anything, but that's besides the point. Yumi finds happiness in death because she is finally helping Shishio in battle instead of just caring for him. She's mad fucked up, but that's what you get from a prostitute.

Yumi looks tasty!

Yea, she does.