There are dream fights in anime that will never, ever see the light of day, due to copyright problems. However, numerous fan sites take polls and write out these imaginary scenes, all in order to determine once and for all: which character is better? Which is more powerful?
They're cute, they're quiet, they're not really human; that's right, it's Rei VS Lain!
Perhaps the most popular Evangelion character, Ayanami Rei is a soft spoken 14 year old with blue hair and red eyes. We've seen her kick the utter crap out of Angels in her Eva, we've seen her naked, and we've seen her die countless times and come back. Can she be killed? God knows.
Then we have Lain. She isn't quite real... so uh yea.
Rei and Lain stand on opposite sides of the ring, sizing each other up. Lain sports a cute pair of boxing gloves with little bears on them and her bear suit. Rei sports a rather plain red pair of gloves and a blue robe matching her hair.
"Are you real?" asks Rei. She has a somewhat confused look on her face as Lain flickers as if she was a projection.
"Are you Rei?"
"Am I Rei...?" Rei looks down at the ground, still confused. Her hands are clenching and unclenching. "Am I... Rei?"
"Real? What is real? Is anything real?" Lain takes several steps across the ring and kneels down curiously in front of Rei.
"The real Rei?!" Suddenly Rei grasps her face violently. "Am I the real Rei?!"
"Take it off!" cries a voice from the audience. Several coughs follow. There is the soft sound of crickets in the background.
Rei looks up with a twisted glare and swipes at Lain. Her hand flies through Lain's head harmlessly. Confusedly, she takes another swing to no avail. "Wh-What?!"
Lain puts her hand to her head making a strange symbol and stares at Rei.
The ring suddenly turns in to a pit of mud as the two slide towards each other. For some reason they are both naked and Lain is now palpable. Rei grabs Lain's head and slams her in the mud.
"You cyber sex whore!" She struggles to keep Lain down as her rather visible breasts jiggle violently. Lain slides out of the way and slaps Rei to the ground.
"At least I'm not pimped by my own husband, you fucking clone-ass bitch!" They begin to grapple, still slipping from the mud. The crowd is now hysterical.
"Take it off!" cries a voice from the stands despite their clear lack of clothing. The two women are still wrestling violently naked in the ring.
"I'm the real thing bitch! The best you could hope for is someone jacking off to a fucking chat-room window!" Rei then proceeds to bear hug Lain's face into her chest. Lain struggles desperatly for a few more moments, then goes limp. Rei stands up victorious, proudly boasting her womanhood.
The winner is Rei.
...don't you dare copy or fuck with our layout. god knows it's happened before.
copyright evasource 2005